Be Free, or Die

“You either be free, or die trying to be safe.”

I recently came across this line in a trailer for a documentary called The Road to Dharma.

The documentary, set in India, tells the story of people in search of themselves on a dangerous motorcycle journey under the guidance of a guru. Although I haven’t watched it yet, I believe the main theme is fully conveyed by this quote alone; sentiment I also strongly identify with through my own life:

“Either you become free, or you die while trying to stay safe.”

Indeed, if we deeply scrutinize the choices we make in life, we usually find fear at the root, with our pursuit of safety serving as a thin disguise for that fear under the veneer of being “reasonable” and “rational.”

Take a moment to review the choices you’ve made throughout your life, especially those that society or your parents expected from you, and you’ll likely confirm that, at the core, there was some form of fear.

Whether it’s following the advice of parents, teachers, leaders, or the community at large, going to school, getting an education, seeking acceptance, finding a spouse, having children, getting a job, owning a home, most of us proceed through many of these steps driven by fears imprinted at a young age: fear of rejection, of not being loved, of being left behind, of loneliness, of being different.

These choices may not all stem from fear, of course, but a great many do, shaped by the conditioning that instills in us a host of worries we’re not even consciously aware of.

We can confirm this by asking ourselves a simple question about any choice we’ve made:

“If I could do absolutely anything in life without constraints, would I still choose this?”

For the choices to which your honest answer is “yes,” there is another factor to consider, related to your life vision and the value you place on yourself:

Do you truly know what’s possible for you? Have you ever had a real opportunity to explore that question in its entirety?

Even if nothing held you back, are you able to imagine all that might be possible, all that you truly deserve? Are you aware that the greatest limitations often aren’t external, but rather the ones embedded in our minds through years of conditioning?

In searching for security, we’re essentially seeking a “reasonable” and “rational” cover for our deeper fears. But what is deemed “reasonable” and “rational” is usually dictated by societal norms.

For example, why would a “logical” person choose a motorcycle when they could drive a “safer” car?

Why start your own business when there’s an option to build a career in a major company or remain comfortably employed by the government?

Why devote yourself to art or music, especially as a profession, when you could become a doctor, engineer, lawyer, or academic?

Think about the moments and decisions in your life that you treasure most, the ones you recall with gratitude.

Often, these are rooted in so-called “illogical” or spontaneous choices, moments when you listened to your heart, even if it meant making mistakes. That’s certainly true in my experience. My spur-of-the-moment motorcycle trip from London to Istanbul, with minimal planning and very little prior experience, is right at the top of the list.

Traveling with my family in a caravan on similarly spontaneous journeys, repeatedly quitting my job without a new one lined up, moving abroad without in-depth planning, these choices, though not “rational,” have ultimately filled my life with genuine joy and meaning.

Yes, playing it safe might give one an illusion of security, but it leads to a life devoid of real flavor and personal fulfillment. Over time, that self-protective comfort can transform into a trap that secretly erodes your spirit, like frogs slowly boiling in water they don’t realize has reached a lethal temperature.

Returning to that quote, “You either be free, or die trying to be safe,” it suggests that if we don’t overcome our fears, we’ll spend our lives clinging to safety and simply fade away. I believe the first step to conquering fear is awareness, just as it is with any major life change.

The more we remain conscious of our inner state, of what we’re feeling and why we do what we do, the more we can recognize choices made out of fear, and the closer we get to changing them.

Another way to move beyond fear is to follow whatever evokes real passion in us. Whether it’s art, music, travel, or writing, these pursuits guide us to expand beyond our comfort zone, offering us opportunities to learn about ourselves and transcend our insecurities.

When we do something with passion rather than out of fear, it becomes a beacon lighting the path we need to travel within ourselves. So let’s never stop discovering and listening to those passions.

Here’s wishing you a life fueled by love, passion, and the joy of freedom, not by fear and the need for safety.